It is said that peace begins with a smile. A smile is free to give and is usually freely returned. There are lots of smiles available, so if you see someone without a smile, give them one of yours. You’ll still have plenty left. Start the peace process today – and keep smiling!

My three favourite things are eating my family and not using commas.

It’s a scientific fact that birthdays are good for you. The more of them you have, the longer you live.

I had a neck brace fitted a couple of years ago and I haven’t looked back since.

My doctor told me that jogging could add years to your life. He was right – I feel 10 years older already.

I used to live hand to mouth. Do you know what changed my life? Cutlery!

I used to have goldfish that could breakdance on the carpet . . . but only for about 10 seconds.

If I got 50p for every maths exam I failed, I'd now have £4.30

The shin bone is a device for finding low furniture in a dark room.

Marriage is the process of finding out what kind of man your wife would have preferred.

Be nice to your children ... they will be the ones choosing your care home!

A bargain is something you don’t need at a price you can’t resist.

Recognition at last for the inventor of the door- knocker. He won a No-Bell prize.

A good wife is one who always forgives her husband when she is wrong! 

My wife asked me to put ketchup on the shopping list I was making and now I can’t read any of it. 

The worst time to have a heart attack is during a game of charades.

Thank you so much for explaining the word 'many' to me. It means a lot!

Masses are being live streamed

(click the buttons to the online Masses)

Please Note: Times of weekday Masses can vary depending on availability of clergy and days of obligation.